Every day I tell my kids that they are beautiful, that they are smart, that they have been called to great things. I tell them this because I know that within each of us there is another voice that tells us otherwise, and I refuse to leave that voice unchallenged. I insist on drowning it out with truth.
I recently visited a Christian Bookstore looking for a gift Bible for a friend and I was shocked to see that the "Self Improvement" book section has grown larger than the Bible area - in fact, the only section bigger was the Christian Romance & Fiction area. So many of us struggle with accepting who we are, longing to be more, to be better, to be like someone else.
Why do we believe the voice within that tells us we are not "enough" and where does that voice come from? There is definitely a truth that I believe all of us can agree on: That negative voice is not from God... and yet, so many of us choose that voice over God's when it comes to how we see ourselves.
Two things I have observed that happen when we don't speak truth against that negative voice:
1. We begin to live a life of constantly comparing ourselves to others
We place ourselves on a chart and everyone in our world is either above us or below us on it. We give ourselves points if we can befriend people whom we consider "above us" on the chart and find ourselves resentful of the ones we can't get buddy-buddy with. We earn extra credit in our own eyes if we reach out to people whom we consider "below us" on the scale and pat ourselves on the back for lowering ourselves to someone else's level to befriend them. This is not pleasing to God.
When we compare ourselves to others there are two sins being committed: one against ourselves and one against those who are unknowingly being sized up by our judgement. God didn't make some of us more special and some of us not-so-special. He doesn't desire for us to look at others and decide how important and worthy they are - just as He doesn't desire for us to look at ourselves and determine our own value. But of course God knew we would do just that - which is why Jesus repeatedly tells us that the least will be considered the greatest in His kingdom, that our chart system will not be considered. In fact, He asks us to be like little children, who just wanna play and have fun together, they don't look at color or status or rank - they just want to play. That is what God desires.
2. Comparison invites greater sins to come in and rule our lives.
Awhile back, a woman sat in my office and cried in my arms at the loss of a deep and meaningful friendship due to her extreme jealousy of her friend's seemingly charmed life - in her opinion, everything her friend did succeeded, she was more beautiful, her husband was more faithful, her children were more loved, and she had more money... and as much as this
truly grieving woman yearned to go back and mend this friendship, she could not let go of her bitterness and jealousy... Comparison had grown into insecurity; insecurity into jealousy; and jealousy had grown into hatred, destroying the relationship.
Just like all sins, insecurities grow and fester and turn into huge thieves. They burglarize our heart and spirit, ripping out our joy and confidence in Christ. They take out our love and acceptance of others and put in their place some really nasty roommates: Jealousy, Bitterness, Hatred. Once these take root it can be quite a job getting to the bottom of the problem and pulling them out. The main reason it's so hard to remove them is that these sins cloud our judgement and reasoning ability - we see everyone through an unforgiving, unloving and self-preserving haze, and before we know it, we find ourselves rationalizing our resentment and anger towards others who have done nothing to earn it.
How Can We Overcome This Sin?
1. We must ask God to show us how He sees us
Each of us have different gifts, talents, skills, personalities, handicaps, financial resources, challenges - all of these are tools that God has given us to do and to be exactly what God has made us to do and be. What you may see as a flaw or a drawback, God may have purposefully allowed or given to you in order to accomplish something great through you.
Live long enough and you will face failure, disappointment, grief, financial crisis or physical illness at some point down the road. But if you know who you are in Christ, you will never look at the good fortune of others as a slam against your struggle, but instead you will be able to rejoice in the goodness of God no matter who it is poured out on and no matter what season of life your are in at the moment.
2. We must love others as we love ourselves
I like the way a little toddler told me once: "We are all God's favorite. He loves all of us the most!" God truly does love the homeless lady at the bus stop as much as He loves the man driving the bus parked there. He loves you just as much as He loves the business exec in the penthouse suite of the fanciest building downtown. He loves the stay at home mom just as much as He loves the teenager skate boarding past her window. He loves them all, they are each His favorite, and so are you. When we take the time to look around us and intentionally think to ourselves as we watch the people around us "God loves that person" we will realize a very important secret: The secret to loving others is in not looking at ourselves at all, but instead, striving to genuinely look at the other person and see the gift of God there.
3. We must ask the Lord to reveal these Joy thieves to us and kill them
Lastly, it's important to honestly ask the Lord "Help me to be satisfied with the gifts, talents, and situation that you have blessed me with. Help me to be glad and rejoice in the gifts, talents, and situation of others and to genuinely love each person in my life. Reveal to me the harmful attitudes that I may have and with your guidance, help me to remove them from my heart." The amazing thing about talking to an all powerful, loving God is that He cannot ignore a prayer like that! He most definitely will give you guidance and answer that prayer.
1 comments:
Great word for today. We should be encouraging our brothers and sisters in Christ to use the gifts God gave them instead of comparing gifts. We then should ask God to glorify Himself in our lives with the gifts He's given us. When it's all about Jesus it's all about loving others.
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